Trying Something New [for jackcaptainjack]

[lovewhentheyrun]

It was a strange sensation for Klaus, finding himself uncertain of things he didn't want to be uncertain about. He'd always known who he was. Instead of asking, he told people where he stood. Fine, a lot of it was bravado, but it was self-deluding bravado. Anything that entered his orbit that defied the story he told about himself, he got rid of, or neutralized, tucked away somewhere out of sight. He loved best from a distance, without the messy emotions of other people demanding different things from him than he wanted to give.

Some of that, at least, he'd begun to realize before they put him in that box. Some. Elena's words had lingered, and his need for her blood had mocked him, and now, maybe, he was just trying to prove someone wrong.

Except...he didn't really know how he fit. His siblings had grieved. They seemed glad to have him back, after a while of shouting at him. Elijah, of course, hadn't shouted. Elijah rarely shouted. And by the time Elijah was over the worst of the poisoning, Rebekah and Kol had stopped shouting, too.

Jack...made things messy, though. Made Klaus's place uncertain, almost. They liked Jack. Elijah probably did more than that, but while occasionally Elijah wore his heart on his sleeve, other times he was impossible to read. Now was such a time. Klaus wanted things to be like they'd always said they were (whether they were or not). Family above all.

He wasn't sure that was the case anymore, and if it wasn't--where did he fit?

Of course, it would be far easier if he, too, didn't like Jack. But he did, which was annoying in its own way. He didn't want to like him. He wanted to fuck him and get it over with, and leave him in no doubt of where he fell in the pecking order of Elijah's affections, but Klaus was in doubt (and had been for a century or two, so, really, that was nothing new), and while he suspected so, too, was Jack...he didn't see a way to resolve it.

Jack calling him out hadn't much helped.

Rebekah had petted and soothed to the best of her ability, but Klaus had mostly spent the time since painting in the attic room he'd converted to a studio years ago because of the fantastic light from the skylights and the glass doors that led out to a rooftop terrace. He was there, now, frowning at a canvas with paint on it that had, as of yet, failed to form itself into anything recognizable. The bottle of vodka sitting on the table with his paints, half empty, was its own sort of testament to his mood, but. One could only expect so much.

Comments

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

Jack came close to knowing that Elijah had. Not absolute certainty, but they'd had conversations about war that alluded to being a vampire on a battlefield. He doubted Elijah... liked that he'd enjoyed it, but that was another matter altogether.

Jack, for his part, didn't want to be a vampire and for all the time he'd spent in war, he didn't love it. He did sort of wish there'd been a vampire on some of the battlefields he'd been on. That was his dark thought, and not one he was going to dwell on.

"Relative to what?"

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

"To what else there is, I suppose," Klaus replied. "For a short time, a few days...I think we were all happy when Mother came back, but it was too tentative to truly believe in, and then...our family hasn't been whole since our parents did this to us, not really. But there are still...moments of joy in the world, or we'd all be suicidal."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"That takes a lot of perspective," Jack said, after a moment of uncomfortable silence. He couldn't even make himself ask another question, just for a moment.

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus shrugged and chuckled, a bit dryly. "Live a thousand years and you get some..."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"Get back to me in eight hundred years or so, and I'll let you know." Not going to count two thousand years underground. That wasn't living, just a lot of dying.

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus gave him a wry smile. "You might do better than we did."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"I might," he agreed, with a slightly wry tone. "It sort of depends. What do you mean by better?"

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus shrugs a little. "Better at being happy."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"I honestly don't know, Nik." Jack finally moves a little, to sit down in the doorway, back against the frame and head turned so he can look at Klaus. "There's a lot of beauty in the universe, and I remember being on fire and in love with it, but at this point... I've spent more of my life dying or trying to die than really being alive. Elijah's been good for me. You all have. So... maybe I'll get it figured out."

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus gave him a look, then shakes his head a tiny bit. "You've really got to stop trying to die, if you're planning to be with him. You didn't see his face when he saw you lying there." He paused, frowned, shot Jack another look. "It reminded me of yours when you came to fetch me home."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"Give it a rest, would you?" Jack said, tiredly. "Message received. I'll work on growing a survival instinct and make damn sure none of you, especially Elijah, has to deal with that crap. I know it's not fun, and whatever sick little fantasies I have, I don't get off on making people miserable."

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus arched an eyebrow, giving him a very confused look. "No one minded dealing with it," he said. "We know how to handle the situation, just..." He rolled his eyes. "He's lost enough, all right? Maybe he doesn't know how to say what he wants, or what he wants for himself, but he chose you. He brought you home and into our world. Clearly he's not inclined to lose you, so. Don't make him. That's all."

He had no idea what Jack was talking about with "sick fantasies."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

Jack was briefly confused by Klaus' confusion, but sorted it out quickly enough. Once he had, he was just relieved. "He won't ever have to lose me. I promise. I'm not going anywhere, in any sense of the word."

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus wished his confusion was so easily cleared up, but he wasn't going to ask, at least not right now. "Then it will be all right."

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

Jack was not complaining about the issue not being pressed right now. "He and I will be, yeah. You and I... Have we actually settled anything?" They might have. They might not have. He honestly didn't know, and he wasn't willing to guess.

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus shrugged. "I don't know."

Settling things without rage and violence wasn't necessarily something he was good at.

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"Well, that's helpful," Jack said, just a bit dryly. "Do you know if you're still pissed?" The dryness of his statement didn't carry. His question was sincerely just a question.

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

"I'm not still pissed." That part he knew. He was scared, a bit. On edge. Impatient and wanting everything to be perfect and clear and not confusing. But he wasn't particularly pissed.

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"Good." That was a relief. " It means we'll probably get there, even if we aren't now. Comfortable enough to handle some physical contact?"

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

One eyebrow arched. "Is this where we're going to hug?"

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"You're joking, right?" He paused for just a bit. "Of course this is where we hug. Unless you want to go for the traditional kiss and make up, but that might get... awkward."

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

"For the moment, yes. Highly....awkward." As in, don't cross that line if you're not willing to see it through, the look said. Klaus could flirt as an art form with it not having to go anywhere. When it started down a physical path, though...

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

"There are worse reasons for it."

Jack was okay with staying on the safe side of the line, actually. Unusual for him, and some part of him very much wanted to cross the line just because he knew it was there. That didn't mean he was going to do it. Way too invested in Elijah to play that game.

[lovewhentheyrun.livejournal.com]

Klaus rolled his eyes a little bit, mostly to pull back from the emotional intimacy. "Fine. Whatever."

If Jack crossed that line, Klaus probably wouldn't let him cross back over it very easily.

[51stcenturyjack.livejournal.com]

That got a bit of a crooked grin out of Jack. "All right. I'm getting out of your hair so you can get back to painting."